Staying human in the hustle
This past week was heavy on many levels. And given it’s been a minute since I last wrote about burnout, I felt I’d give it another go. So, while this post won’t solve the world’s ails, my hope is that this helps someone in the thick of work-overwhelm while existing in this complicated world.
These are 10 things that have helped me stay grounded to some avail.
It is normal to feel uncomfortable. With everything going on at work and in the world around us, and in our personal lives, recognize that it is normal to feel overly stressed. Especially when communication is vague and decisions feel destabilizing. Give yourself and each other grace. That’s what makes us human.
For example, I cried this week when chatting with a mentor because yet another relative of mine was killed due to war in my home country. I had been compartmentalizing and not sharing because I didn’t want to burden my colleagues, and it finally caught up with me.
Point is, each of you have your own things you’re carrying too. What does ‘giving grace’ look like to you? Are there resources available to help you process or navigate it?
There will always be too much work so figure out a system that works for you to stay sane. For me, I tend to default to my own version of the Eisenhower Matrix to be intentional on where my focus lies during my working hours.
I say my own version of the prioritization because the framework mentions delegating if a task is urgent but unimportant. In the current environment where everyone else is drowning too, I find it’s best not to delegate but rather really lean into ruthlessly prioritizing. This is where your manager, mentor, or even trusted colleague, can help.
And I say ‘during my working hours’ because boundaries is another concept I wish I had learned earlier in my career given how foundational it is to keeping me sane.
You’re allowed to have a stopping point. You’re allowed to protect your time.
Define what success means to you. I work for an incredible company. That said, it is helpful to remember that we live in a capitalist economy so by design, no matter how great our employer is, it will optimize for profit and what they get out of you. That means you have to be your own best advocate and figure out what will make this work-relationship a win-win for you. It’s not about quiet quitting your demanding job, but rather making sure what you get out of working is also worth your investment in a way that is valuable to you.
For example, I’m an amateur sociologist so I find it rewarding to get plugged into employee development and culture related initiatives, even if it’s beyond my core responsibilities. I plan to go back to school part time at some point and leverage my employer’s tuition reimbursement benefit.
What is your goal and how are you using your job to help you achieve it? Is it the skills and experiences you’re gaining? Is it the flexibility and lifecycle it affords you? The exposure to new ideas?
Incorporate healthy outlets. Did you know that overachievers are more susceptible to burnout? And sometimes the hours worked isn’t necessarily the culprit? Consider what energizes you and look at ways to incorporate that into your day.
Or are there adjustments that would help you feel less resentful of work? For example, a simple thing that helped me was adjusting my day so I can drop my child off at school in the morning instead of opting to be what I thought was a ‘team player’ at the expense of my personal time. The team didn’t even know I was sacrificing something so important to me and once I proposed an alternative, we found a solution that worked well for everyone.
What’s an adjustment you’d find helpful?
Pay attention to your mental model and how it influences your perspective. Words matter. I recall learning about how just changing the words used to describe work can change our perspective and thus how we approach our situation. For example, if we describe work as a rat race instead of a game, we may be more inclined to feel pessimistic and trying to survive it instead of recognizing we may have some agency over our day.
What mental models are you reinforcing? And could a change minimize unwarranted deference?
Ask why even if it ruffles feathers. This is just a reminder that it’s okay for us to question decisions, timelines, and processes. And to push back and ask our leadership clarifying questions if something doesn’t make sense. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team talks about how important healthy discourse is to trust and innovation.
Asking questions can help uncover the real underlying issue or motivation that needs to be addressed, or may inform that something is ready to be evolved if it no longer serving an impactful purpose. In fact, it is advised that we all practice breaking ‘stupid rules’ as a means to foster critical thinking and drive meaningful change.
Do you feel empowered to ask questions?
Assume positive intent. This pairs well with the 2 items above (pay attention to your mental model and asking why). It is a reminder that everyone is operating in their own game or journey with their own challenges. So, chances are, unless they are a corrupt politician, they’re not trying to sabotage you. Being curious to new perspectives not only reduces conflict and grows empathy, but it helps us be better problem solvers. And honestly, is also great for building friendships.
Have you ever felt misunderstood due to someone’s quick assumption?
Use AI to help save time, but then pause. As humans we need our brain to breathe. Just because AI can boost productivity doesn’t mean you have to immediately fill that freed-up time with more tasks. Let things percolate for a moment. Rest. Reflect. Lord knows I’ve wrestled with FOMO myself but giving myself time to think has made me more creative and intentional with where I want to spend my energy.
What would you do with a bit more space to think?
Financial literacy and f-you money. This is probably the most tactical advice I can give. Having experienced financial hardship growing up, I know how being financially stable and having a solid understanding of how money works helps bring psychological safety for when things happen that are outside our control. It’s not about achieving a certain level of wealth, but about providing choices.
Empowerment begins with understanding where your money is going and what it’s doing for you. Thankfully there is so much knowledge and resources available to get informed. Reach out or comment if you want some suggestions.
Infuse fun things into your day. This may sound silly, but worth repeating because we are not machines. Romanticizing our day or adding the smallest rituals that we find delightful can make a big difference. Because the small things matter. For me, it’s adding whip cream in my coffee. That tiny moment of indulgence reminds me to slow down, savor something, and just enjoy being.
What’s your version of that little spark?
You don’t have to do all of these things. But I hope something here resonates.
