Challenging our assumptions about refugees
“Ugh, do they even really need help? How can they be walking around in Gucci and call themselves refugees?”
That was a friend of mine expressing her discontent with Ukrainians that don’t fit the narrative we’ve all been fed about what a refugee should look like.
Honestly, I get it. Because I had a similar bias when I was volunteering. There I was, intentionally dressed down so not to create a spectacle of my affluent middle-class existence, only to find many of the refugees I was helping to be better dressed and manicured than I.
So, what gives?
We make assumptions
It wasn’t until I heard the refugees’ stories and situation that it dawned on me. Many of the people I was helping were just like me — middle class moms balancing family, careers, and societal expectations. Except they happened to be facing extraordinary circumstances. They were forced to flee their homes because they were no longer safe from an aggressor bombing and committing war crimes against civilians in their neighborhood.
The truth is, many refugees do face poverty, and at a much higher rate compared to other groups of people. But not all refugees fall into this category. According to UNHR, a refugees’ status is primarily determined by their need for protection, not their economic circumstances.
So while we may be familiar with the heartbreaking images of people experiencing socioeconomical hardships, understanding these various distinctions help us avoid assumptions so that we can better support all who seek safety and refuge.
We have compassion fatigue
When the world first heard of the full scale invasion on Ukraine, it was outraged. The aggressor was rebuked by world leaders and help for Ukrainians poured in from the international community.
But as the war rages on, the novelty has worn off and our compassion fatigue has settled in. This makes it difficult for us to cognitively process the continued horrific experiences people are forced to endure. So instead, we find ourselves eagerly looking for reasons to downplay the experiences shared and dismiss any asks for additional aid.
To combat this phenomenon, it may be helpful to remember that the sooner Ukraine is properly equipped to defend against the aggressor, the sooner the war will end, and Ukrainian civilians can stop needing refuge and assistance (in fact 5.5 million Ukrainians have already returned home even as war continues). And if you’re a reader in the US, you may find it reassuring to know that for a Ukrainian refugee to be in the states, means they have someone that is personally financially sponsoring them, and that most of government aid to Ukraine has been for military support. In short, your tax dollars aren’t paying for anyone’s luxury goods.
We have survivor guilt
Encountering refugees that are similar to ourselves is a reminder that none of us are immune to potential bad actors or terrible circumstances on this earth. This can trigger feelings of survivor guilt.
In an environment of survival guilt, classism can manifest as we try to distance themselves from this vulnerability and plight. We do this by validating ourselves as deserving of our privilege and attributing the refugees’ circumstances to their own personal failures or character flaws rather than acknowledging the structural inequalities and injustices at play.
The fact is, every Ukrainian I know is helping the resistance in some way. And because it is an attempted genocide on Ukraine by the aggressor, their very existence is heroic and rebellion enough.
More importantly, this war should have never been possible. In a time of such unprecedented innovation and progress, it’s unfathomable that archaic systems of imperialism continue to wreak havoc and destruction.
So what now
If or when we start to feel uncomfortable to see a Ukrainian thrive in our midst, pause to self-reflect on what’s triggering the emotion. Try to remember that behind the polished exterior, are stories of ordinary people thrust into extraordinary circumstances. And if they’re a refugee, that means they are an individual balancing the same demands of life as we do while also forced to flee their homes due to the horrors of war and violence.
Your kindness and support can make all the difference in helping refugees feel welcome and safe as they learn to navigate their new surroundings.
